How do significant life events or the passage of time influence your perspective on life?

I remember a lot of moments in my life but the most potent memory is the last breath that my husband took after battling cancer for two years. Our house had flooded the night before and all our kids except our eldest went home to peruse the damage done to our home.

Jono and I were in the room and I had just found myself calm enough to open my laptop when he left this cruel world. We called Pastor Tim who came and dedicated and anointed Steve into the afterlife with God, and my bestie neighbour Bron came into the room to hold space for me.

How does this affect one’s perspective on life? It changes everything.

I used to think the kids and I were close but it became very obvious they had preconceived ideas on how a widow was supposed to handle themselves. The judgment from my own kids was horrendous.

I also realised very quickly that the kids did not understand that I was by Steves side almost every day of his two year cancer journey and with him gone, I had no one left for me. The kids would stay in their rooms and grunt at me if I attempted to have a conversation with them.

I am now living alone and still on my journey of trauma recovery. Steve was always loved and cared for and had the best of care through his numerous surgeries, radiation, chemotherapy, immunotherapy, and clinical trials.

My perspective on life is now to live it without being so rigid and cruel to myself. I did the best I could at the time with the tool kit I had.

I will leave you with this quote for now:

“Remembering that I’ll be dead soon is the most important tool I’ve ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Almost everything—all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure—these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important.”

Steve Jobs

Until tomorrow, KT18Ø