If there were a biography about you, what would the title be?

Have you ever had moments of despair turn into beautifully karmic moments? Sometimes the Universe does not disappoint.

Let me tell you all a story today. My husband and I would have been together for 10 years this coming week. He passed away a month ago and I have been cycling through different stages of grief in small and big ways alike. Sometimes I am ok, and sometimes I am not; this is completely normal and my decisions are not always the best, but I am sure everything will be ok in the end. I am alive and I just have to spend some time finding out who I am as an individual.

When I was younger, I used to daydream. I was once swung around a room from behind by a teacher for daydreaming and not paying attention in class. It was not my fault. I could already read and write and the class was dismally boring. I did not have many friends growing up because I was shy and did not feel like I fit in anywhere. It led to bad marriages and relationships, and breakdowns of epic proportions.

After my second marriage, I decided I was actually pretty cool and not at all what my exes had labeled me as. When someone narcissistic and violent says “Good luck, you’ll never find anyone like me”, you thank your lucky stars. Then being back in the dating world makes you see a lot of red flags. You get so good at spotting them that you can see them from a mile away. You also get good at setting boundaries for your own wellbeing.

I was single for three years before I met my late husband through a mutual friend. He became my all and my everything. We were inseparable from the start. We quickly became each other’s best friend and we were able to discuss every single topic known to mankind. We only had one fight in our almost 10 years over how to hang curtains in our new house. It was a doozy but it made us realise we had a beautiful relationship. The thing is, I will never (and I repeat never) find anyone like him again.

The day of his funeral, my anklet he had bought me on our last cruise broke. I was sad and vowed to fix it again soon when I got a clasp for it.

Stage seven of the grief cycle is “loss and loneliness” and it hit me hard. I was looking for something to fill the void and I can confirm this stage is actually physically painful. In waltzes a guy that promised me the moon but could not even offer a spark. Not even a shred of decency.

The red flags came in fast and I did the only thing I could think of doing… block and report. If someone cannot prove themselves in person, we should not entertain them online. Scammers are out there and they are clever at love bombing and honing in on your weaknesses. Unfortunately, I’m not that desperate. I will not put up with fraudulent behaviour and am happy to have caught on before it went too far. Self-awareness is good too, as you can learn lessons and rise again from the ashes.

Today when I got home, I had a pair of earrings waiting for me in a parcel. Inside the package, there was a random spare clasp. With joy, the Universe provided and I fixed my anklet. Karma in action. With that chapter complete, the lesson I have learnt is that I need to stick to my family and friendship support circle, and find myself in the process. I had my purpose with my husband evolve over the time of our relationship and this is just a new chapter for me.

If you ever find yourself involved in a scam, it is important to report it even if you feel embarrassed about falling for something like that. Learn from my story. You are loveable and not at all stupid. Don’t ever let someone make you feel small to make themselves feel bigger. You matter and your voice matters too. Speak out and stop them from preying on someone else’s heart and emotions. Find your courage and be the change.

You can report online dating fraud at the following link:

https://www.afp.gov.au/crimes/fraud-and-corruption/identity-crime-australia

For now, I will leave you with this quote:

“Whoever is detected in a shameful fraud is ever after not believed even if they speak the truth.”

Phaedrus

Until tomorrow, KT18Ø.