What’s the one luxury you can’t live without?

Some people would say they could not give up luxuries like chocolate, coffee, wine, fashion, shoes, and a plethora of other types of things.

They are all amazing and I probably could live without them but would prefer not to. But at the end of the day, I could not live without water, the good old H2O. But is this classed as a luxury? I assure you in my world, it is. Hear me out!

A common saying we hear from our parents whilst growing up is “think about those poor kids in third world countries!” when we refuse to eat our dinner or practice “basic” hygiene. You see water companies selling bottles of water for charities and claiming one bottle will give a town a day of water or some crazy marketing slogan like that. It reefs at your heart strings.

I do enjoy drinking water and I aim to drink more of it whilst reducing my caffeine intake but drinking water is not the luxury I’m talking about at all.

Being someone who suffers from anxiety, I have always found hot showers the most soothing relief from the vantage point of sitting on the floor and allowing the volcanic heat rain down on me and baptise me with pure, unadulterated blessings and healings. There is nothing more trigger-dampening than that.

Problem is, it’s not quite possible to do in our new house. The shower is quite small upstairs and the downstairs bathroom seems to have a moisture and mould problem. We do have a bath though and that is where I’ve been getting my relaxation from lately.

I have not used baths a lot in my adulthood as it has only been a from time-to-time kind of past time. I have been getting hubby to sit with me in the bath lately though. We do a lot of conversating in the bath and quite often come up with solutions for problems in our household that can only come from intentional moments of honesty, intimacy, and candour.

At our old rental, we did quite a lot of it and there was one time when we experienced a power outage which meant we had to call for candles which turned out nicer than we had anticipated. The only problem is that the water got cold and our constant gas hot water service did not actually work without electricity. Whose idea was that anyway???

Whilst this bathroom was amazing, I have to say, it was better buying our first house to enable us to have stability for our family and a roof over our heads. After all, it was the entire point of our sacrifice for me getting through university studies and landing the job of a lifetime. We have all sacrificed our lives over time and we do not live on easy street by no means, but it is one less thing to worry about. As long as we continue servicing our mortgage and growing our equity, we will be safe.

I do not know if it is a faster tap that does it but this bath also fills faster. I think it is lower and needs less water to fill it, but it seems wider also which is good for two people who are reasonably larger than life. We use bath bombs, bath oils, or bubble bath to make it that little bit more luxurious too.

Hubby and I also like a good bath if we go away for an anniversary night and this has been a highlight of the annual getaway.

My favourite thing about walking into a hotel room is checking out the bathroom, after putting our bags down of course. This bath was a relaxing way to prepare us when we travelled to Orange to discuss cancer surgery options for hubby at the start of his cancer journey. We have gone through so much stress in our 8+ years together but always mindful to find a way to be present in the moment for each other.

It took a few months to get me into the bath at our new house. I was fearful of the damage as the house had not been maintained for many years when we bought it. We have so much to do which includes gutting both bathrooms and replacing pretty much everything. We may have been closer in our renovation plans but Steve’s cancer diagnosis caused a major halt on that project. We did, however, secure Steve’s dream spa bath for $100 from Facebook marketplace and had a wonderful adventure fetching it.

It’s scores like these that make life special. But it’s moments like these when blogging that make you search back in your memory banks and look into the past two.

Please be aware that the next paragraph has a trigger warning. Stop here or continue on at your own discretion.

It was the year 2000 and I had a brand new baby and an abusive partner who was controlling both emotionally and financially. I was 18 and had no idea how to be a parent. I was also having to take my baby to work with me and working full time whilst breastfeeding and covering for another staff member who was recovering from a spider bite was hard. Sure, I had lots of staff and customers who would drop everything to have a chance at baby cuddles but that was not the point. I’d work, I’d look after the baby. I’d come home, I’d look after the baby. There was no down time. There was no respite. There was just this new world where I had entirely no time to myself or a life in general, and the responsibility of a brand new child who depended entirely on me to stay alive.

I couldn’t even be a young adult who went out partying and experiencing all that young adults would, and that is where I tried to eliminate the pain and slit my wrists in the bath. It seemed like a good idea at the time but it didn’t work at all. I couldn’t cut myself deep enough. It hurt too much and I sobbed at my failures, both failing to live life and failing to end it.

I think I started to see my counsellor again around that time and continued to after we moved to a new house too. Our relationship was not good and I wanted out but he would hijack my counselling sessions and tell her our relationship would be ok if I just had sex with him. That’s all he wanted. A hole at his beck and call.

I continued to see this counsellor for a number of years after we broke up and after my relationship with the next husband. I even think she based her masters thesis around me which is kinda cool but also messed up because I was so complexly messed up.

I go through stages to this day where I would like all the pain to just disappear and me not exist but I acknowledge now that they are just fleeting moments of despair that I will never action. For the longest time, I have practiced going to bed with the hope for a fresh start the next day and I am insanely lucky to have a wonderful man sleeping next to me every night. His cuddles continue to heal my wounds, whether they’re fresh or old scars.

During Steve’s cancer treatment, I’ve found it hard to wake up with hope though. Every new day seems to bring new trauma and heartbreak. There was also a period of time after surgery where Steve couldn’t lay on his right side so cuddles were out of the question due to our chosen sides of the bed. That was hard to handle and it made me realise I had been taking the small things for granted with him. I took some time healing my past trauma to be more present in my relationship with him and that seemed to boost our marriage to a different state of consciousness.

Back in Queensland, we started swimming for physio therapy after a car accident too, so water has been a healer for both of us.

It’s funny that we have move so far inland now. It dropped down to -7°c the other day and there is no way I would swim right now. The ocean is also very far away but we travel 4 hours to get there and be very purposeful about going to the beach now.

Unfortunately, with Steve currently in week 3 of 7 weeks of radiation and unable to wear sunscreen right now in the middle of treatment or be in the sun for perhaps the rest of his life, our lifestyle seems a little altered in the future. Nevermind, we will always have our quiet moments chatting in the bath tub, and we are guaranteeing Steve has longevity of life and sticks around for many years to come.

I will leave you with this thought…

“Sorrow can be alleviated by good sleep, a bath, and a glass of wine”

Thomas Aquinas

Until tomorrow ~ KT18Ø